


The Prices We Pay

by JayceCarter



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, Blackmail, Body Image, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-10-01 11:58:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 20,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10189415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayceCarter/pseuds/JayceCarter
Summary: After Nick is badly damaged, Nora has no choice but to bring him to The Institute to upgrade him to a Gen3 body. However, the procedure doesn't come without strings. Nick wakes up in a new body, forced to deal with the reality of his entire life changing. Meanwhile, Nora finds herself under the thumb of The Institute, and her son, to repay her debt to them for helping Nick. Can Nick adjust to his new life? Can Nora escape the Institute before she loses herself? Will they ever admit how they really feel about one another?





	1. Chapter 1

Nora’s arm trembled as she held the pistol, aiming it at her son’s face. All the time to find him, everything she’d done, and this was where they ended up.

 

“Why would I do that?”

 

“How about because I’ve got a gun to your head? Because I’ll blow your brains out if you don’t.”

 

He crossed his arms, stubborn, looking so damned much like his father had she had to shove the tears away. No, he was nothing like Nate. Nate would have grieved to see the man he’d grown into.

 

“I’ve given you a home here, a family, and you pay me back by threatening me?”

 

“Yes. If you’ve learned anything about me, you know I’ll do anything for my family. I tore apart the Commonwealth to find you. This man is my family, and I’ll tear this place apart to save him.”

 

“That is not a man. It is a synth. An old, out-of-date prototype that should have been recovered and scrapped years ago. Even if I wanted to fix it, we lack the materials to do so. That prototype was created over a hundred years ago.”

 

“Do something. Anything. You’ve got a whole fucking scientific think-tank down here. Don’t tell me none of you can figure something out.”

 

“Why would I? We help our friends, and our friends don’t pull weapons on us.”

 

Nora rubbed her hand against her cheek, catching the tears that had escaped. Nick’s body laid between them, still. A soft whir came, as always, but it revved up then stuttered. Tiny clicks happened at random intervals, and those eyes had gone dark. An electrical trap had gone off, and Nick had shoved her out of the way, taking the hit himself.

 

They’d encountered plenty of similar traps, but none had done this to him. He’d fallen, unresponsive. Dr. Amari could do nothing, no one had any ideas, so Nora did the only thing she could think of.

 

She brought him to the Institute and pulled a weapon on her son.

 

“Please, Shaun. I’ve asked nothing from you. You used me like an experiment, had me remove Kellogg for you, threw me into the Commonwealth with nothing. You owe me this.”

 

“I could offer you a deal. Our help in exchange for yours.”

 

“Anything.”

 

Shaun nodded. “Put down the gun, Mother. I think we can come to an understanding.”

 

#

 

Nick woke, gasping, arms flailing. He didn’t need to breathe, so what was happening? Someone grabbed his arm, but he shoved it away.

 

“Nick!”

 

He frowned. Nora?

 

His eyes opened, light pouring in, blinding him.

 

“Calm down, Nick. It’s okay.”

 

“Where am I?” Whose voice was that? It came out of his mouth, but it was wrong.

 

“Turn off the fucking lights!” Nora’s cursing almost made him smile. The woman was little more than fire raging inside a tiny body.

 

When the lights turned off, the world drifted into focus. White walls surrounded him.

 

He’d seen this sort of place before. Flashes of it, from before.

 

“Please tell me I’m not in The Institute.”

 

Nora’s face came into his line of sight, dark circles beneath her eyes. Her face seemed to have aged, worry carved across it. Even so, he couldn’t have woken up to a better sight.

 

She pressed her hands to each side of his face. “Yeah, you are. I had to bring you here. We triggered a trap, and it did. . . something to you. I couldn’t get you back online.”

 

“So, you brought me here? I think I’d rather have died out there than get myself locked up here again.”

 

“You’re not trapped here. Shaun and I. . .” Her gaze darted away, jaw tight. “It’s fine. As soon as you’re up for it, you can leave.”

 

“What did you do, Doll? I know that look on your face. Last time I saw it, you decided to return a Deathclaw egg to its Mommy Dearest.”

 

She shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. You’re safe. But, well, they couldn’t save your old body, Nick.”

 

Panic crawled into his stomach, slithered around until he felt like he might vomit. Damn, it had been a long time since he’d felt that. “What are you talking about?”

 

“The prototype body, it was too badly damaged. They’ve come too far since then; they couldn’t fix it.”

 

“So, you plug me into a toaster or something?” Even he heard the anxiety in the voice he didn’t recognize that came out of his mouth, the way his words slid toward hysterics.

 

A voice came from his left, too far away to see the owner. “You need to calm down, X9-24. Your pulse is too fast.”

 

“His name is Nick. If you want to keep your pretty face intact, I suggest you remember that.” Nora turned her gaze back to Nick. “We had to upload your personality into a gen 3 body. The electrical charge, it fried some of the circuits in your old brain. There was no way to repair the damage.”

 

“You changed my body? You put me into a new body without asking?” His hands touched his face, curling against the skin like he might tear it off.

 

“There was no time to ask. You were dying, Nick. We couldn’t wake you up to ask and I had to make the call. I couldn’t lose you, couldn’t let you die.”

 

He yanked away from her hands, struggling to make his body- no, not his body, whatever body this was- work. He rolled to his side, lurching off the bed. Hands grabbed him, helped him stay upright. “I need a mirror,” he rasped.

 

One was pressed into his hands, and a new face stared back at him. Younger than he’d expected, a hell of a lot younger than he felt. Blue eyes, brown hair, unremarkable but not him. None of it was him. He couldn’t find a speck of himself.

 

His head spun, and the mirror slipped from his hands, shattering against the floor.

 

“He’s going over,” someone said.

 

That sounded like a damned good idea to him. He welcomed the blackness.

 

#

 

Nora stood back, arms wrapped around her waist. What had she done?

 

What she had to do. What Nick would have done in her place. She’d lost too much, she couldn’t lose him. Hell, he was the only thing in her whole world she couldn’t lose no matter what. She’d sell her soul to keep him.

 

Fuck, she might very well have.

 

“He will adjust.” Shaun came to stand beside her.

 

They maneuvered Nick’s new body back onto the bed, checking vitals, running diagnostics. The man who had always been proud laid there in a hospital gown, ass showing through the back, long legs bare. They hadn’t wanted to fucking give him any clothes. ‘Synths don’t need modesty,’ the doctor had explained, and Nora had threatened a few people until they had dressed him properly. She needed to get out of there, with Nick, as soon as possible.

 

“When can we leave?”

 

“The procedure was a success. He is disoriented, but that will pass. You may leave as soon as you both feel ready for the trip.”

 

Nora went to leave, but Shaun grabbed her arm. “Don’t forget our agreement, Mother.”

 

Nora yanked her arm away. “It’s hard to forget when you make a deal with the Devil.”

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Nora straightened the papers on Nick’s desk, trying to pull them into some method of organization. She loved Ellie, and the girl did wonders with clients, but she couldn’t keep files straight if her life depended on it.

 

Still, it was better than facing the man upstairs.

 

Nick hadn’t said a word to her since they left The Institute. They’d installed a courser chip in him, so he could transport at will, and so they could drag him back should she not follow through on her end of their bargain. She couldn’t see the thing, tucked inside his neck, but she felt it twist her stomach with the threat.

 

She didn’t have a plan, not yet. As long as that chip stayed put, they had a weapon against her, and they damned well knew it. She had no choices, not while they could yank Nick back with the press of a button, not while they could do anything they wanted with him. She had to play their game until she found options.

 

And Nick couldn’t know. He could never know, because it would hurt too much.

 

She’d hurt him too much already.

 

Ellie came down the steps, untouched bowl of food in her hands.

 

“How is he?”

 

“Not great. He’s upset and confused.”

 

Nora leaned against the desk and rubbed her palms into her eyes. “Fuck, Ellie, I didn’t have a choice. You know that. It was this or we lost him.”

 

Ellie set the food down, a bowl of noodles, and pulled Nora into a hug. “I know. You did the right thing. It’s just going to take him some time. He, uh, he asked me to leave for a couple weeks. To go visit family in Goodneighbor. Said he wouldn’t be taking any cases for at least that long and could use some time alone.”

 

“Well, I’m not fucking leaving him.”

 

Ellie grinned as she stepped back. “Yeah, I figured. Call me if you need anything, okay?”

 

“Yeah, you too.”

 

Ellie packed her things before leaving. When she was gone, the office turned from a home to just a building. Ellie had a warmth and light to her that made the office special, and when she walked out she took it with her. Hell, Nora had wanted Nick across the way at her place, at Home Plate, but he’d refused. He hadn’t even refused with words, had just wandered toward his office like she hadn’t spoken. She’d done what she’d always do; she followed him.

 

She was going to fix this, she just had no idea how to do it.

 

#

 

Nick’s hand stretched, squeezed into a fist, then stretched again. He followed the movement, tried to imagine the skeletal hand he’d always had before, the way the light would catch on the metal.

 

This was better, right?

 

No. This was new, and uncomfortable, and he’d had no choice in it.

 

He told himself not to be angry with Nora. He’d have done the same thing for her, would have moved cities to save her, but he couldn’t manage it. He wanted to scream, to rail at her for stealing his identity. It had taken him over a hundred years to gain some semblance of self in that metal body of his, to grow used to it, to accept it. Every insult, ever indignity he’d suffered, he’d dug them down deep and used them as strength. All those years he had the memories of a flesh and blood man in his head but his body, that had been his.

 

And now?

 

Now he lived in this new body, as flesh and blood as anyone else’s. Hell, Myrna would sell him things if he just walked up to her. People wouldn’t point, they wouldn’t gasp. He’d be like everyone else, but damnit, he wanted to be him.

 

“You need to eat.” The softness of Nora’s voice told him all he needed to know. The girl was hurting, and Nick was the only person she never took it out on. She’d tear people down, mow down raider gangs and gunner groups, just because she’d had a bad day. But she never so much as raised her voice to Nick.

 

She placed a bowl of noodles on the table beside the bed.

 

He sat on the bed, legs hanging off the edge. His stomach growled in response to the noodles.

 

Right, food. This body needed food in a way his old body hadn’t. Another change, another thing to adjust to.

 

“Not hungry.” His voice brought a wince from him. Same accent, but not as deep. Not him.

 

“Doesn’t matter if you’re hungry, which by the way, you are. I can hear your stomach from over here. You need to eat now.”

 

“You should have let me die.”

 

Nora sighed, collapsing down into the chair. The circles below her eyes had worsened since The Institute, like she hadn’t slept a single hour. She was running herself to death trying to fix this, to help him. “Maybe. But I’m not that strong. I couldn’t let you go, couldn’t be alone, not again. Maybe what I did was wrong, but you know what? Fuck it, I’m not sorry. I can’t be sorry. I have you still, and even if that wasn’t what you wanted, I just, I couldn’t do anything else. I’d do anything to keep you with me.”

 

Nick rolled over, laying down and giving her his back. Maybe if he shut his eyes, this damned thing would end, he’d wake up in his old body, with his old life, or maybe he wouldn’t wake up at all. Either option was fine with him.

 

The mattress dipped beneath Nora’s weight. She settled in behind him, wrapping an arm around him, pressing forward until her body melded against his back. “I’m not leaving, Nick. I’m sorry, I know this isn’t want you wanted, but I’ll make it right. I’ll fix this, somehow.”

 

“You can’t, Doll. This is one thing you can’t fix.”

 

Her forehead rested against his back, her breath spilling against him even through his shirt, the warmth of her body more inviting than it should have been. Nora had traveled with him for almost a year, but this, this was new. Even newer was the way the proximity made him want, want for things he remembered in Nick’s old life, but things he’d long since thrown away.

 

He shoved that aside and slid his eyes closed, soaking up Nora’s warmth, the only thing that remained of his old life.  


	3. Chapter 3

Nora woke to a crash that jerked her up and out of bed. She had her pistol aimed before she’d even opened her eyes.

 

Nick.

 

He’d tumbled down the stairs, laying in a heap at the foot of them, a mess of limbs and frustration.

 

“Jesus, Nick.” She dropped the gun and rushed down the stairs, kneeling beside him. “I just got you fixed up. Let’s try not to scuff the paint just yet, yeah?”

 

He rearranged himself, moved slow, wincing as he did so. Scrapes dotted his arm where he’d caught the edge of a step. “These new legs are unrulier than my old set. Seems stairs are a step too far, still.”

 

“You should have woken me up. I would have helped you.”

 

His eyes darted away. Nora could read his face in a way she couldn’t before. The expressions had always been muted, easier for her to miss the nuances. This new face reacted exactly like a human would, and nothing hid the shame that played across it. “I can manage.”

 

“I can see that.”

 

They both flinched.

 

Fuck, that wasn’t fair. This was hard on him; no reason to go poking fresh wounds. “Sorry.”

 

“Don’t worry about it.” He got his feet under him and stood, using the wall for balance.

 

Nora fought the desire to wrap an arm around his waist. He didn’t want her help.  “You ready to eat something?”

 

“No.”

 

“Too bad. You got two days of doing whatever you wanted, Nick. You either pick something you’ll eat or I’ll force feed you whatever I want.”

 

He frowned as he passed the front door, making his way to his desk. He sat in the chair, and didn’t that just sum up their whole situation?

 

There he was, in his chair, in his office, with her, but nothing was the same. Different face, different voice, different relationship. So, similar yet totally different.

 

“I don’t know what I like,” he admitted.

 

Right. What an idiot. He hadn’t ever really eaten, he had no idea what he’d want.

 

“Anything sound particularly good?”

 

“Whiskey.”

 

Nora smiled. “You eat some food today, I’ll let you have whiskey tonight.”

 

“We making deals now?”

 

Deals.

 

It stole Nora’s smile. She’d already made a hell of a deal. What was she going to do?

 

 “I’m gonna go pick up something easy. Maybe some soup, alright? Shouldn’t take me long.” She didn’t wait for a response before she left.

 

#

 

Nora left Fallon’s Basement, clothing folded and clutched to her chest. Hell, maybe he’d smile? She hadn’t seen a real smile from him since he’d woken up. That smile was worth anything.

 

She already had the ingredients for a soup, gentle for his stomach, and a bottle of whiskey from Vadim, though she doubted he’d manage to stomach much of that.

 

“Ma’am,” offered a voice too formal to be anything but a courser.

 

“What do you want?”

 

“Father wants to know when you plan on returning.”

 

“Tell him I’ll come back as soon as Nick is settled. I told him that before. If anyone understands how difficult it is for a synth to wake up, it should be him.”

 

The courser tilted his head, face blank of any emotion. “Very well. You have one week. If you have not gone to Father personally by then, we will consider you in breach of the contract.”

 

“One week might not be enough,” Nora argued. “I don’t know if he’ll be ready to be on his own by then.”

 

“That is no concern of ours. One week is all you have. We do not give second chances, Ma’am.”

 

#

 

“Do a little shopping?” Nick nodded at the clothing Nora held, her knuckles white.

 

She’d been gone for over an hour, and Nick found himself anxious. He didn’t like her walking around out there, alone. Stupid, since he knew her to be more than capable. The woman did far more damage than he ever did, a mix of anger and sweetness, sarcasm and kindness. The worst part was that Nick knew he couldn’t help a damned in his state. He’d tried to pick up his revolver earlier, and the shaking of his limb said he’d be lucky to hit a sleeping Yua Gaui. He’d never felt so helpless.

 

She gazed down at it and frowned. “Oh, right. Yeah.” She held them out to Nick. “I had to guess on sizing. Your old stuff won’t fit you anymore; you’re bigger than you were.” Her cheeks flushed, her eyes darting away from his.

 

Nick spread the items out on the desk. “How did you get these?”

 

“The day we got back I put in an order. Might have to make a few adjustments, I’m no seamstress and I had to eyeball the measurements, but hopefully they’ll work.”

 

An outfit almost identical to his old one laid on the desk. Hat, trench coat, tie, pants. It all matched. He skimmed his fingers over the fabric, to the connection to who he’d been. “Thank you.”

 

“You want me to turn around? You can put them on.”

 

No. It was too soon. He wasn’t ready to meld the two lives together, to admit he wasn’t getting his old body back. Just having them helped, and perhaps in a few days he’d be brave enough to try. “No. I think I’ll wait.”

 

Her lips curved down.

 

Damnit, he kept doing that, kept hurting her, even when she tried everything to help him.

 

He reached out and caught her arm before she could retreat again. The sensors in his new hand made a mockery of his old one. Her arms, the pulse beneath her skin, it all soaked into him. He pulled her closer, then wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest.

 

She didn’t reciprocate, her back rigid, hands by her side.

 

“Thank you, Doll. They mean the world to me. I just need a little more time.”

 

“Okay.” She pulled away. “I’m going to start dinner, and if you eat some, I’ll let you have some of the whiskey I picked up.”


	4. Chapter 4

Nora handed the glass to Nick, but when his hand closed around it, it shattered. Whiskey spilled over him.

 

“God damnit!” Nick caught the widening of Nora’s eyes. “Sorry ‘bout the language, Doll.” He shook the whiskey off his hand. At least the glass hadn’t cut him. Small miracles, he guessed.

 

“Let me.” She grabbed a rag from the table and wiped Nick’s hand in short, quick motions. “You’ll get the hang of this, Nick. Don’t worry, it’s just an adjustment.” She nodded, like she convinced herself. “Takes time to adjust.”

 

“Yeah, I’ve already adjusted to a new body once in my life. Didn’t expect I’d have to do it again.”

 

“I know. You’re doing so well, though. Before you know it, this will be fine. It will be normal.” She patted his knee, where the liquor had run. The cloth pressed up this thigh, then rubbed against his groin in efficient moves meant to soak up the liquid.

 

Of course, an action that would have been laughed off a week ago, had a different effect on him now. He sucked in a breath as the cloth, and by extension her hand, rubbed across his cock.

 

And wasn’t it nice to know the Institute hadn’t botched that bit of machinery? He hardened beneath her touch, but she didn’t seem to notice, nervous words spilling from her lips. “I’ll help you. Whatever you need, we’re in this together. We’ll figure it out.”

 

He clenched his teeth, screaming in his head for his body to behave. Nora was his friend, not some dame he could seduce for fun. A hand was a hand and all that, but this needed to stop before she noticed. He could just imagine the blush that would run across her cheeks, the way she’d start to talk like she always did when nervous. No, they didn’t need that.

 

But his body refused to listen, so Nick shoved her hands away before she could notice.

 

She jerked back, startled, and fell on her ass. Her bottom lip quivered, just the smallest twitch, before she swallowed and drew her hands into fists. His Nora always rallied. “I’m just, I’m gonna step outside for a minute.” She scrambled up and bolted from the house.

 

#

 

Nora took a long drag on the cigarette, letting the smoke sink into her lungs, like it could burn away everything else.

 

Nick had swatted her hands, like she was an enemy. She’d do anything for him, but he’d never see her as anything but the woman who had betrayed him, who had ruined his life.

 

The door opened, and she used the sleeve of her sweater to wipe away any stray tears. He didn’t need to see her cry, didn’t need to know how deep he cut her.

 

“You have another one of those?”

 

“You’ve got real lungs, now. You can’t smoke; You’ll get cancer.”

 

“You have real lungs and you’re smoking.”

 

“Yeah, but mine are already fucked. It’s like carpet, no one wants to be the first to drag their ass on it. Lots of ass already on my lungs, so what’s a bit more tar?” She held out a cigarette for him even as she spoke.

 

He took it, pressing it between his lips. She lit it, gaze locked on his lips. He had nice lips, didn’t he?

 

He cleared his throat, and she tore her eyes away.

 

On the first inhale, he choked, having to lean forward into the coughing fit. “Can’t even enjoy my favorite vice anymore,” he forced out, face red as he gasped.

 

Nora lifted her hand to pat him between the shoulders, but snatched it back, the memory of how he’d pushed her away too fresh.

 

“Look, Doll-“

 

“Don’t. Whatever you’re going to say, just don’t, please.”

 

He pressed his lips together, a tight line around the cigarette. Damn, the way the light caught reminded her of how he’d stood in front of Kellogg’s place when they’d worked their first case together: hers.

 

“You look bad, sweetheart.”

 

“Gee, thanks, Nick. I might have to go back to the Institute and see if they forgot to transfer your charm over with the rest of you. Maybe I’ll find it under a table or something.”

 

“That’s not what I mean. You got some bags under your eyes and you look like you’re gonna fall over. When was the last time you slept?”

 

“Last night. Got a few hours on the floor by your desk.”

 

His eyebrows drew together. “Why are you sleeping on a floor instead of at your own place?”

 

“You might have woken up and needed something. I wasn’t about to leave you alone.”

 

“So you’ve been sleeping on my floor? Hell, Doll, you should have told me. I’d never let you sleep on a floor.”

 

“Doesn’t matter. Can’t sleep much anyway.” Her gaze traced the buildings, the grime that covered everything. She dreamed about that grime sometimes, about how it coated everything, how it coated her own lungs. She’d see it crawling around inside her, growing, choking her. Only thing worth a damned about the Institute: they lacked the grime.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Whenever I close my eyes, I see you on the floor, not moving. I’ve never seen your eyes dark like that. Fuck, Nick, I just can’t get it out of my head.”

 

He blew a lung full of smoke between them. “Sorry about that. Don’t want you worrying about me.”

 

Of course not. He didn’t want anything from her. Not her worry, not her help, nothing.

 

“Right.” She dropped her cigarette and ground it into the dirt. “I think I’ve hit my quota of emotional masochism for the night. If you need me, shout. I’m going to go clean my weapons. Sleep well.”


	5. Chapter 5

The night closed in around Nora. Nick had argued about her sleeping there, wanted her to go to her own bed, but the most he’d gotten out of her was to set down a sleeping bag. There was no chance she’d be leaving him alone.

 

A part of her still worried she’d come back to find he’d killed himself. She’d removed the bullets from his gun, just in case, but the fear wouldn’t leave her.

 

And even if that wasn’t a worry, he could hardly walk on his own. What if he woke up and needed something? No, she needed to stay.

 

He had laid down an hour before, and Nora had turned off the lights, putting her gear away. She didn’t expect sleep to find her, since it hadn’t showed up much recently. Still, the lack of light and sound would help Nick sleep, and he wasn’t used to sleeping. She only stared into the darkness, replayed the days that had brought her there.

 

If only she’d done things differently. They could have gone to a different building and missed that trap. She could have paid more attention, tried to disarm the thing before it went off.

 

Those thoughts drew her toward the one that wouldn’t leave. What would Shaun ask from her? What would he want her to do? Would she be able to live with herself after it? The worst thing was, they had their claws in her. She’d entered into a contract with no end, because negotiating wasn’t on her mind when Nick was dying. And now she was stuck.

 

In a week, she’d get to see how fucked she was.

 

A groan came from upstairs.

 

Nora frowned, sitting up. Was he having a dream? A nightmare? She’d worried this might happen.

 

Silence greeted her as she listened, as she waited.

 

Another soft groan and the bed shifted, like he’d moved.

 

Nora took the stairs slow, careful to avoid any noise. Frightening someone awake was a poor way to stop a nightmare.

 

At the top of the stairs, she crouched, letting her eyes adjust in the darkness.

 

Nick laid on the bed, blanket tossed off him. His eyes had closed, neck arched. Sher gaze traced down to notice he had no shirt on. Since he slept upstairs, she could understand. The heat rose, and upstairs was sweltering, probably the reason he’d given Ellie the downstairs.

 

Nora then caught sight of the rest of him.

 

He was naked entirely, hand between his legs. His leg closest to her was up, knee bent. It hid exactly what he was doing with that hand, though she could make guesses based on the deep groan that escaped his lips and the pumping of his arm.

 

She took a step back, cheeks burning. If there was one thing she never expected to walk in on with Nick, this was it.

 

Her hasty retreat ended when she stumbled over a shoe, and only her crashing against the wall kept her from tumbling down the stairs. “Oh, for fucks sake,” she muttered as she tried to right herself.

 

Meanwhile, Nick had grabbed the discarded blanket and pulled it over his hips, like that would erase what still played in her head.

 

They both spoke, neither hearing the other.

 

“I had no idea you were awake, Doll-“

 

“-I thought you had a nightmare-“

 

“-Never would have if I’d known-“

 

“-need a sock on the door-“

 

After a minute, they seemed to both run out of breath, and just stood, staring at each other.

 

Nora broke the silence, a grin sliding over her lips. “Taking the new goods for a test drive?”

 

“You want to know why I never take you anywhere nice? This is why. Civilized people would have turned around and pretended this whole thing never happened.”

 

“Everything working right?” Nora nodded toward his crotch, her eyebrow lifted. “I’ve got the warranty if somethings not rising to the occasion.”

 

She’d missed this banter, the way Nick would roll his eyes but smile at the things that came out of her mouth. She also had to admit, the sight wasn’t bad. The Institute had crafted Nick a body worth drooling over. His broad shoulders, hunched as they were as if he could disappear, looked perfect for setting her hands on, digging her nails into.

 

Wait, what? No. This was Nick she was thinking about. She shook her head, but couldn’t wipe the stupid grin from her lips.

 

“You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you? This new body was just so you watch me die of a heart attack.”

 

Nora laughed and shook her head. “I’m going to go to The Dugout Inn and buying myself a beer. I’ve earned it. I’ll leave the whiskey for you. A little liquid courage? .”

 

“You don’t have to go, it’s not like I’m going to keep on, well, I wasn’t actually doing anything.” He groaned and rubbed his hand against the back of his neck. “Just stay, okay?”

 

“There is about a zero point zero percent chance of me staying. I’ve always had a rule I’ve lived by. The moment someone starts masturbating, I’m out. I’ll put on the radio as I leave though, for some mood music. Might get you back in the swing of things.”

 

“You’ll never let me forget this, will you?”

 

“Nope. I’ll now call you Nick, the not so private Dick. I plan business cards and all.”

 

“If I promise to eat a bit more soup, will you stay?” Something in his voice said he wanted her to stay, that maybe the whole thing had shaken him. Hell, she couldn’t blame him. This all, it was new, and she was his only real connection anymore. It was the first time he wanted her there, that he’d expressed any desire for her to stay.

 

Nora smiled, forced to admit she didn’t really want to leave, either. This was the least tension they’d had since he’d woken up, the first glimpses of who they’d been, of what they’d had. The idea that she’d walk out that door and find it all gone again terrified her.

 

“Alright, deal. I’ll get the food. You try to wrangle that thing into some pants, yeah? I like my soup sans penis.”


	6. Chapter 6

 

Nick forced himself to eat the soup. Eating felt strange, heavy in his stomach, and he wasn’t sure he entirely enjoyed it. He didn’t find the taste offensive, but he didn’t like it either.

 

Still, it kept him from looking at Nora, and that was as good a plan as any.

 

Between the whole fiasco of him getting excited from her helping clean him up to what she’d walked in on, and the two were far from unrelated events, Nick had had his fill of awkward moments.

 

Hell, it felt like puberty all over again, like he was skinny little Nick Valentine, voice cracking and random erections popping up in class. And that hadn’t even been him, that had been the real Nick.

 

So maybe this was karma’s way of punishing him for getting around that. He had to suffer through it at his age.

 

“I thought tomorrow we might take a walk. Maybe head up to Goodneighbor?”

 

“Why would we go there?”

 

Nora shrugged, sitting on the mattress beside Nick. They’d sat together like that before, hell, they’d slept in the same bed more times than he could recall. It hadn’t been weird, neither had felt awkward. Of course, they’d been missing one set of genitals at the time, and maybe that made the difference. He’d shoved sex so far into the back of his mind, he didn’t have to fight with the thoughts by the time Nora came around.

 

Now, they didn’t want to stay back there.

 

“Because you could use the walk. You’ve had enough time resting, now you need to get back to normal.”

 

“Not sure what normal is.”

 

“Fuck, Nick, no one knows what normal is. But I know what normal isn’t, and it isn’t hiding in this office.”

 

“And of all the places we could go, you pick Goodneighbor?”

 

“Why not? They’re more welcoming that most.”

 

“The first time you walked in, the mayor stabbed a man to say hello. Not sure that counts as welcoming, Doll.”

 

Nora bumped her shoulder into his. “Well, it’s my kind of welcoming. Besides, Ellie is there. Figured we could visit with her. I’ve got an errand I need to run in a few days, and I want to make sure you’re okay by then.”

 

“You don’t want me to go with you?”

 

She jerked her gaze away, studying the items on the side table as if they’d growing interesting. “Not this time. It’s something personal. I don’t think it’ll take me long, maybe even just a few hours.”

 

He set his hand on her leg. “Talk to me, darling. What’s going on?”

 

She smiled, too wide and too tense to be real. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it. I just don’t trust that you’ll feed yourself while I’m gone, so I’d feel better if Ellie was with you.”

 

He let the lie slide. What was this personal errand? Did she not trust him anymore? Did she seem him differently now? Even as the thoughts ran through his head, he didn’t pull his hand away. “Alright. If that’s what you want.”

 

She released a sigh, dropping her head back. “Not what I want, no, but what will have to work.”

 

#

 

 

Nora didn’t usually walk around on alert, but with Nick beside her, she couldn’t help it. When he’d been all metal and ruined skin, she hadn’t worried. He could hold his own. However, his shots had turned to shit and his focus sucked. Not to mention, he just seemed more fragile.

 

So the walk from Diamond City to Goodneighbor took longer than usual, and the muscles in her neck and shoulders screamed.

 

“What now?” Nick scuffed his foot against the floor of their Rexford hotel room.

 

“What if I buy you a drink?”

 

“Because the whiskey went well last time.”

 

Nora fought a blush that wanted to creep up her cheeks. She didn’t blush. Blushing was for virgins and schoolgirls. Not for grown women who carried an arsenal. “I don’t know. Last time it let me cop a feel.”

 

“Nora!” His eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open.

 

“Too risqué for your delicate sensitivities? I mean, you are technically a virgin now, aren’t you? Also, you’re like four days old. They put people in jail for that shit.”

 

“You can’t make jokes like that.”

 

“Why not? When have I ever not made jokes like that?”

 

“It’s different now.”

 

She knew it was, but she refused to accept it. She and Nick were the same people, bodies be damned. The fact that he tempted her way more than was appropriate didn’t change shit. It couldn’t. She wouldn’t let that ruin them. “Why? Why is it so different now?”

 

He grabbed her arm when she stormed past him. She missed the yellow of his old eyes, that stare he’d give her. “It’s just different. I’m not the same as I was.”

 

“You’re exactly the same to me. What body you land in doesn’t mean fuck-all to me, Nick.” She set her hand on his check, begging him to understand, to believe her.

 

But he didn’t. He wouldn’t. No one was as stubborn as that man. He released her arm and took a step back. “You just can’t do those things, can’t joke like that.”

 

“Yeah. Well, as fun as this is, I’m going to go have that drink. You can do whatever you want.”

 

#

 

Nick tried not to feel like a stalker as he watched Nora by the bar. She hung over Hancock, body plastered to his, his arm wrapped around her waist, her body between his thighs. They laughed, drinking from the same bottle. Hancock would take a drink, then pour some down Nora’s throat.

 

Damn, Nick hated that. He’d never approved of her friendship with the ghoul, but this touching hadn’t bothered him so much before. Maybe it was some altruistic streak in him that said if he couldn’t touch her, others should be able to. Now that he could, though, he found it hard to accept others doing it.

 

He could have his arm wrapped around her, he could press his lips to her neck. There wasn’t a damned thing Hancock could do now that Nick couldn’t. So why was he letting his dame hang on that ghoul?

 

Because she wasn’t his dame. Not really. She’d never been his.

 

Before, the reason had been him. She was young, and strong, and a spitfire. He was broken down and archaic, just this side of a scrapyard. She deserved the best, and that had never been him.

 

But that was before, wasn’t it?

 

Did she even want him? She’d always made those jokes, always drawn groans of frustration from him, but did she mean anything behind any of it?

 

She took another gulp of Hancock’s drink before the ghoul leaned in and kissed her, deep and messy and enough of a show that he spotted tongue.

 

And that’s when he snapped.

 

Before Nick could think of all the reasons this was bad, could consider that his emotions had been volatile, that the scientists had warned it would take a few weeks, even a few months, for his mood swings and impulse control to level out, he was across the bar.

 

He wrapped a hand around Nora’s arm. “Come on.”

 

“What? Why? I was having fun.” She didn’t struggle as he pulled her out of Hancock’s grip.

 

The ghoul just grinned, leaning back, like the show was shaping up to be a good one.

 

“I think you’ve had quite enough fun.”

 

“I am not leaving without my whiskey!”

 

“It’s my whiskey,” Hancock yelled back.

 

“I will tell everyone that you like-“ Nora couldn’t finish the statement before the ghoul had passed her the bottle.

 

Once outside, Nora pulled her arm from his grip. “I can walk, you know. Been doing it for years.”

 

“What were you doing in there?”

 

“Having fun. You should try it sometime.” She took another drink of the whiskey. “Who knows, you might even like it.”

 

“You were all over Hancock.”

 

“So? Why do you care? I always am all over him.”

 

“Because it’s different now.”

 

Nora threw the bottle against the side of the building, the shards of glass and remnants of the alcohol spraying the ground. “Why? Why is everything so different now? We were friends, fuck, we were closer than friends. You were everything to me and now everything I do is wrong. I know you’re angry with me Nick, and I’m sorry, but what the fuck do you want from me? I can’t win with you, everything I do is wrong, and all you tell me is that it’s different.”

 

Nick walked up and shoved her back, against the wall, the scent of the whiskey invading his nose, making him feel like if he breathed in enough of it he could manage some contact buzz. He leaned in and took her lips in a kiss, trying to erase Hancock’s taste from her mouth, erase the image from his head.

 

He grabbed her thigh and pulled it up, around his hip, and ground his hardness against her, wanting her to feel every inch, to understand exactly why things were different.

 

Nick waited for her to shove him off, to slap him. Hell, he wouldn’t be surprised if she shot him for his nerve. She did none of it, though. She wrapped her arms behind his neck and plastered as much of her body to him as she could. She snuck her tongue past his lips, the kiss drunken and messy and more teeth than finesse.

 

He pulled his lips away, his free hand reaching back to grab her ass, to push her harder against him. “This is why it’s different, okay? I was eunuch before, barely half a man. You could make those jokes, you could do that, because I couldn’t do a thing about it. It’s different now. Now it means something, now I can do something about it, so if that’s not what you want, if this is all a game to you, I suggest you stop playing with fire, Doll.”


	7. Chapter 7

 

Nick shook his head, sitting in the chair and leaning back. Nora throwing up on his shoes was probably a good stop to his madness. Hell, it was a godsend, the only thing to wake him up. She’d been too drunk to agree to anything anyway, and he’d been too out of his mind to realize it, to even care.

 

What had he been thinking? The old Nick never would have drug her from a bar like that, manhandled her like that. Even if anything in him had been capable of such a relationship before, he’d have never been so rough. Nick wasn’t rough, he wasn’t wild. He prided himself on his control, on his level-headedness. Butt that hadn't been him last night. Scratches on Nora's shoulders from the brick wall he'd pinned her against stared at him, reminded him of how he'd treated her. 

 

Not that she’d complained, but damn, it made him sick. This was bad. What if he lost it again? What if he hurt her? Nora didn’t react with him like she did with others, would he ever push her too far? Would she ever even tell him no? Nora might skin anyone else alive, but she let him get away with anything.

 

The idea of really hurting her, of taking it too far, it terrified him.

 

She groaned and rolled over, still sleeping off the whiskey. She’d yanked off her pants before falling into the bed, so she flashed him a lot of those toned legs he loved to see. He tore his gaze away, feeling like a pervert, staring at her while she slept.

 

“Come to bed,” she muttered, pulling the pillow into her arms and curling around it.

 

“Not a great idea.”

 

“Afraid I’ll throw up on you again?”

 

“Not really. Can’t imagine there’s anything left in you after what you did to my shoes.”

 

She peered over her shoulder at him. “Then why not?”

 

“Just not ready to turn in. I’m gonna take a walk, clear my head.”

 

She frowned, but set her head back down, arms clutching the pillow tighter. She stared away from him. “Yeah. Okay.”

 

Nick ignored the hurt in her voice as he left the room.

 

#

 

Nora sat by the gate, head in her hands. Today was it. She had to return, to find out what Shaun would demand.

 

What would he take from her? Would he ask her to kill for him? To hurt people? To become his new Kellogg? She’d killed his last operative, he needed a new one to do all those nasty things that needed doing.

 

And now that was her.  

 

“Hey there, Doll.” Nick kicked his foot against the ground, not meeting her eyes.

 

He regretted it. Of course he did. Nothing ever changed, did it? Nothing ever would.

 

“Morning, Nick.”

 

“Nursing a hangover?”

 

“Yeah.” She stood and slid her backpack over her shoulder. “Guess I’m not as young as I used to be.”

 

“Look, about last night.” But he didn’t go on, he didn’t say it, didn’t need to.

 

“Let’s not, huh? I’ve got to get going on that errand.”

 

“Let me come with you.”

 

She shook her head. He couldn’t come, he couldn’t know. It would break his heart to know what she’d give up for him, what she’d do to save him. He carried too much guilt already, he didn’t need to carry this as well. She’d haul this secret for him. “You can’t.”

 

“Are you angry with me? About last night?”

 

“Yes,” she whispered.

 

“I shouldn’t have yanked on you like that.” Of course that was what he was sorry for. Not for bailing at the end, not for leaving her, but for touching her in the first place. Fuck, she felt sick. “But don’t leave without me because of that.”

 

“I have to. I’ll come back, soon, I hope.”

 

“Are you ready, Ma’am?” A Courser stepped up beside her.

 

Nick narrowed his eyes. “You’re going to The Institute? That’s your errand? You’re working with them, now?”

 

“Stay out of this, X9-24.”

 

Nora pulled her pistol and pressed it to the courser’s temple. “His name is Nick. Try again.”

 

The Courser lowered his eyes. “Stay out of this, Nick.”

 

“You’re really going to help them?”

 

Nora sighed as she holstered her pistol. “Yeah, I really am. I’m sorry, Nick.”

 

She followed the Courser out of the gate, and tried to forget the look of betrayal Nick wore.

 

Better he think she betrayed him than realize what she’d done to save him, what she still would do to save him.


	8. Chapter 8

 

Nora dropped her gear on the floor, pulled her jeans off, and laid down in the bed. Turrets hummed, welcoming her home, but Nora couldn’t sleep. There was no way sleep would come, not after her days on the road. Showers only scrubbed blood and stimpacks only fixed injuries.

 

Nothing fixed her head.

 

“Doll?” Nick’s voice soothed that pain, a breeze that blew away a bit of the filth. She wanted to wrap herself around that voice, pretend nothing else existed.

 

Nora rubbed her arm across her eyes, clearing away tears, and tried to play it off like she was tired. “Hey, Nick. I’m sorry if I woke you. I tried to keep it down.”

 

“No. I’ve been up, waiting. I was hoping you were getting back soon.” Worry laced his words.

 

She didn’t want him to worry. Why couldn’t she stop hurting him?

 

“Sorry.”

 

“You okay?”

 

No. The faces haunted her, the people she’d killed for no good reason. She sucked in a breath. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

 

He sat on the side of the bed, setting a hand on her arm. “I’m glad you’re back. I can’t settle when you’re gone, can’t stop worrying. I imagine all the things that could happen to you. You know my feelings about The Institute, but I trust you’re doing things right, that you know where that line is.”

 

What line? She’d barreled over any joke of a line, trampled it all. How was she going to face him again, ever? What if he found out? Even if she did it for him, he’d never forgive her or himself.

 

Nora pulled away from his touch. She couldn’t stomach it, not right then. Maybe in a day or two the pain would fade, maybe she could close her eyes and not see what she’d done, but for that night, it was too much. She didn’t deserve his touch, and letting him touch her felt like a lie.

 

Another lie, another way for her to hurt him.

 

“Are you crying?”

 

“No.” She tried to pull away again, but Nick would have none of it. He grabbed her arm, trying to turn her toward him. The whole mess devolved into a wrestling match between the two of them until Nick had her pinned, his body bigger and heavier than hers.

 

Not to mention, she hadn’t spent the last three days relaxing. Every muscle in her body hurt.

 

He frowned as he stared down at her. “You are crying. What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“I can spot a lie from you a mile away, darling. Try again. What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

 

Yes. Fuck, she felt wounded down to her core, down to the person she wanted to be, the person she’d been before, the person who died alongside those settlers Shaun had sent her to kill.  “No.”

 

One hand of his touched her cheek. “Then talk to me. You don’t talk to me anymore. You shut me out, like I’m a stranger now.” He sighed, closing his eyes like he couldn’t look at her while he spoke. “Do you not trust me anymore? I could understand it, after what I pulled outside The Third Rail. Can’t really blame you for doubting me.”

 

Nora shoved all the worry inside her, all her pain and regret aside. “I trust you, Nick. Always have, always will. The body you’re in doesn’t change that.”

 

“Then talk to me. Let me help, you. I’ll do anything.”

 

But she couldn’t. She couldn’t tell him, couldn’t dump that on him. It wasn’t his burden to carry, it was hers. She’d made the deal, she’d take the consequences. Instead she reached between them and tangled her hands in his shirt. “You want to help? Kiss me like you did outside The Third Rail.”

 

#

 

Nick froze at the words. They were the last things he expected to come spilling out of her mouth. He prepared his answer in his head. Rehearsed how things between them were strange, how it wouldn’t work, how he wasn’t good enough for her, how he was going through something difficult right then. He imagined all the ways she’d argue and all the ways he’d press home the point that he couldn’t kiss her, that they couldn’t do that. All of that slid away as he leaned down and did exactly what she’d asked of him.

 

All the reasons why he should have said no dissolved in that kiss, in the way she surrendered everything to him. The woman who fought everything never fought him. Outside of The Third Rail she’d taken anything he’d give, give anything he wanted, and she did that there, too. Maybe that’s what drugged him in the whole damned thing, that she gave so freely to him, without reservation.

 

In a world where nothing had come easy for him, where he fought for every damned thing he had, she held nothing back.

 

Her hands slid over his shoulders and locked behind his neck, holding him like he might try to escape.

 

Nick kept his body off hers, weight held up on one hand and his knees, which rested between her legs. He didn’t want to crowd her, to make her feel trapped.

 

Nora would have none of that distance, though. She wrapped a leg around his hip and when he would come no closer, she lifted her body off the bed in clumsy movements to gain contact.

 

Nick broke the kiss, pulling his head back. She took it as an invitation to kiss his throat, to nip at his neck.

 

“Let’s keep this slow, Doll. You just said a kiss.” He needed slow to think.

 

“And I changed my mind. I want more.”

 

He groaned when her tongue traced the neckline of his shirt, when it dipped beneath. He wanted to give her whatever she wanted, but this was a bad idea. “Why would you want that, huh? You’re smarter than that, I know you are.” Even as he spoke, his hand settled on her waist.

 

“You said you wanted to help me, so help me. Kiss me so I forget everything else, please.” Her fingers dug into his shoulders, her face twisting to nothing but pain. “I can’t think about anything but all the terrible things I’ve done, all the people I’ve hurt. Please, help me forget about it.”

 

That face undid him. How could he say no when she pulled at him, when she begged? He closed the distance and took her mouth, cutting the ties on his control. His tongue pressed into her mouth, his pelvis falling into the cradle of her hips. He rocked his hips against her, grinding his erection against her.

 

His hand tangled in her hair, tilting her head, exposing her neck. He drug his teeth against her pulse, then moved lower, never slowing the movement of his hips.

 

Nora moaned beneath him, clearly not thinking about the past, or regrets, or anything but the feeling of his body against hers. “I always wanted you like this.”

 

“Even before?”

 

“Fuck, yes, always. I told you, the body you have doesn’t mean a thing to me.”

 

He slid his hand up her shirt, pushing the cup of her bra out of the way. Her nipples hardened beneath his coaxing. She was so damned responsive. He never thought he’d have her like this.

 

Hell, if he were being honest, he’d thought about this even before this new body. He’d just always shoved the idea away too fast, because it hurt too much, because he was so sure it would never happen. He pushed himself against her, lining his hardness up to rub against her clit each time, through the fabric of his pants and her panties.

 

Her broken moans told him it was working, and the bite of her nails said she was close. He took her mouth again as he thrust, his hand lavishing attention on her breast, until her thighs tightened around him and she came.

 

She looked amazing, head thrown back, lip caught between her teeth. He shuddered as he came, unable to help it, to hold back. He didn’t care, either. Maybe he should be ashamed, coming in his pants like a teenage, but he couldn’t find it in him to be upset. He’d never really believed he’d have a moment like this with her, and he’d savor every damned second.

 

“God, Doll, you look amazing, you know that? In this whole filthy world, you’re the only real good thing in it.”

 

She froze, body going rigid beneath him. Her hands flew to his chest, pushing, frantic.

 

Nick rolled off her, the mood swing enough to get him to cooperate. Nora wasn’t a woman to give to panic.

 

She flew off the bed and ran from the room. The last thing he heard was her throwing up in the bathroom.

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

Nora handed the orders to Preston, glad to see the new guard rotations working. “Just make sure they don’t overwork themselves.”

 

“Of course, General.”

 

She turned to find Nick, hands in his pockets.

 

“You know, with how much you stare at my shoes, you’ve got to have them memorized by now,” she said.

 

He brought his gaze up to hers, a crocked smile across his lips. “Sorry.”

 

“You disappeared last night.”

 

 “Not exactly. I just figured I’d worn out my welcome, what with you throwing up after. . .” his gaze darted away. “Well, you know. I didn’t see a reason to stick around much past that.”

 

Nora couldn’t tell him what had upset her, so she only rubbed her eyes. “I need to go see Deacon.”

 

“Is this another personal errand I’m not allowed on?”

 

“You’re welcome to come. I don’t plan to walk, though. Institute gave us chips, I saw we go there then use it to hop to Goodneighbor. We’ll cut the trip down to an hour.”

 

“I’m not keen on going to the Institute, even as a through-way.”

 

“Trust me, I’m not either, but if it saves us a few days? I think it’s worth it.”

 

He nodded, shoulders dropping. “Yeah, you’re right, Doll. Alright, let’s do this.”

 

#

 

Nick tried to ignore the looks. Sure, there were a lot worse places to be, places where he’d be run out of town for being a synth. At least the railroad accepted him.

 

Still, the curiosity, the pity, it bothered him.

 

Nora had wandered off with Deacon as soon as they’d arrived, leaving him with Tinker Tom who wouldn’t stop asking questions.

 

“So you still have all the same memories? Same feelings? Everything?” He spoke rapidly, barely sparing a breath.

 

“Yeah, same old me.” Nick held out his hands, annoyed. “Two hundred years and two bodies later, same old me.”

 

Deacon and Nora walked into his line of sight, in the room with the beds for agents. They hadn’t noticed him. He couldn’t hear them, couldn’t make out the words they shared, the annoyance in Nora’s face was clear as hell.

 

What were they talking about? What was Nora keeping from him?

 

#

 

“You’ve got to be able to do something, Deacon. Come on, it’s me and Nick.”

 

“I know, Charmer, and I’d do anything I could to help you both out. I can’t help with this, though. The courser chips are hardwired into the brain. You can’t remove them, not out here. Hell, I don’t know if the Institute could even remove one.”

 

Nora rubbed her hands against her eyes. Deacon had been her one shot, her one hope at finding a way to work around this. As long as the Institute could yank Nick away from her, she had no options. “Can we mask the signal at least? Find some way so they can’t use it?”

 

Deacon shook his head. “The way they work, they can’t locate him, but they can activate it to teleport him whenever they want.” Deacon grabbed her arm. “What did you promise them?”

 

“Whatever they wanted.”

 

He frowned. “Can’t say I approve, but I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same for Barbara if I’d been able to.  Look, I’ll ask Tom to look into it, okay? Maybe he can find a way to hide it, some sort of shielding. I don’t know. Don’t get your hopes up, but I’ll work on it. Keep checking in and I’ll let you know if we find anything.”

 

Nora grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Thank you, D. You have no idea what this means to me.”

 

He nodded, capturing her hand in return. “But, Charmer, you’ve got to understand something. This is delicate, and I get where you’re stuck, but you need to pick your moves carefully. There are some things that would be unforgivable. There are some jobs the Institute could ask you to do that would make us enemies, and I don’t want that. You have to figure out how far you’ll go.”

 

Nora looked over at Nick, who had his gaze locked on hers. “I’ll do anything it takes to keep him safe,” she whispered.

 

Nick said little after they left the Railroad. Nora had given him the privacy, too worried to try and figure him out anyway. She’d planned on showing up and Deacon offering to pop the chip out like an old DVD. Sure, it had been a long shot, but she’d thought something might have worked out for her, just this once.

 

Hell, she should have known life didn’t work out for her.

 

“So did you and Deacon figure out your little plan?”

 

Nora cast a sidelong glance at Nick. “What do you mean?”

 

“I may have a new body, but I’ve got the same old instincts. We went there for a discussion, and I want to know what it was about. We’ve been partners, Doll, so don’t keep secrets from me.”

 

“It was nothing. Just railroad talk.” She waved him off as they walked into Home Plate. If nothing else, the Institute had given her an ability to get around with ease.

 

Nick grabbed her arm and turned her around. She came flush against his chest, staring up into his angry face.

 

Nick wasn’t angry much, and she almost didn’t recognize the expression on him. Hell, right then, she just had to touch him, to reassure herself he was alive, that she wouldn’t lose him. She needed to know he was still there.

 

He shook her by the shoulders. “Stop lying to me!”

 

She didn’t push away, instead sliding her arms up and around his shoulders. He frowned, like the reaction wasn’t what he expected.

 

“Stop that. I’m fighting with you right now.”

 

“So, fight with me.” Nora kissed his jaw. Fighting was better than distance, better than him ignoring her. Fighting at least meant she mattered. 

 

“I can’t when you’re doing that.”

 

“Well, that’s really your problem.” She clung to him, then wrapped her legs around his waist.

 

He slid his hands beneath her ass, more on instinct she suspected than on purpose. He groaned. “Come on, talk to me.”

 

Nora sucked his earlobe past her lips, then nipped it. “I don’t want to talk, Nick. In fact, talking is about the last thing I want to do.”

 

“What do you want?”

 

“You know, for being old, you really can’t read women for shit. I want you to take me to bed and fuck me. Now, preferably.”

 

His hands tightened on her ass, like he couldn’t help it. “That isn’t smart, Doll.”

 

“When have I ever been smart?”

 

“Last two times we tried anything, you threw up.”

 

“What if I promise not to this time?” She sucked on a spot on his neck, just over the pulse.

 

He started walking toward the bed, like he couldn’t even remember saying no, like his mouth and his body had nothing to do with each other. “We should be talking.”

 

“There are so many better things we should be doing.” She bit the spot, trying to get him to move faster.

 

“Come on, Nora, think it though. You don’t want this, you don’t want me.” He laid her back on the bed even as he spoke. He helped pull her clothing off, fast, tossing it all aside. “You should tell me to stop.”

 

“That’s the last thing I’d say. What I will say, is strip. You can’t fuck me if you’re clothed.”

 

“You know I hate that mouth of yours.”

 

“That’s just because you haven’t seen what it can do.” She grinned at the flush on his face. Embarrassing him was fun, more fun now that she could witness the results.

 

He stripped down, but didn’t give her a chance to enjoy the view before crawling on top of her. “You’re sure?”

 

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “Come on, show me what this new body of yours can do.”


	10. Chapter 10

Nick stared at Nora’s body, his cheeks flushed, his heart racing. He’d waited for this moment since before he realized he’d wanted it. Hell, from the moment she’d walked into that vault, he’d wanted her like this.

 

And unlike the last time, this time he’d have her.

 

She should tell him no, but she wasn’t, and he was tired of trying to talk her out of it, of denying himself this. He always had to be the responsible man, always give up the things he wanted for the greater good. He’d been denying himself Nora forever, and he’d grown tired of it.

 

“We should go slow.” He shook his head, trying to get it to work, to think through this.

 

“No. Slow is a bad idea. Slow can be interrupted, and I’m tired of waiting.”  

 

“You deserve more than a quickie, Doll. You deserve romance and for me to take my time with you.”

 

“And that’s exactly why I don’t need anything more than you, Nick. You worry about me, and I love that, but right now? Right now, I’m just tired of waiting for this. I’m ready. Stop making me wait.”

 

He pressed his forehead against hers, trying to come up with some self-control. Nick, the man who held himself to a standard, couldn’t find an ounce or restraint against her.

 

Nora, always challenging him, always doing whatever the hell she wanted, reached between them and wrapped her fingers around him. She rubbed the head of his cock against her slit, and he shuddered at the warmth, at the wetness he could already feel.

 

He couldn’t resist that. Nothing could have gotten him to resist that. He pressed forward, into her. Her hips raised further, trying to get closer, trying to get more of him.

 

“Just give me a minute,” he muttered against her neck. “Giving you time to adjust.”

 

“I don’t need a minute.” Her hands gripped his lower back, nails digging in.

 

The sting caused his hips to go forward, sliding the rest of the way in. “Hell, Doll,” he hissed.

 

“Again.”

 

He laughed as he caught his breath, then followed her demand. If she wanted him hard and fast, she’d get that. His dame deserved whatever she wanted, and for whatever reason he’d never understand, she wanted him.

 

His hand slid up her rib cage, marveling the way it tapered down to her waist. He’d never seen a prettier sight, even in all the things he’d seen, all the women he’d seen over his years, none came close. Sure, there were girls better looking, he supposed, but they lacked her fire. He’d followed her long enough to know her, and no one took the place of this girl.

 

“You got any idea how good you feel?” His thrusts continued, deep, hard, and she only clung tighter in response.

 

“I’ve needed you so long, Nick. Fuck, I’ve dreamed of this so many times.”

 

“Yeah? You dreamed about an old synth? I’d think you could come up with some better fantasies.” He knew his voice had bitterness drenched in it, but he couldn’t help it.

 

Nora’s hands cupped his cheeks, bringing his eyes to hers. No luck evading that gaze. “I dreamed about you, Nick. I never cared about your old body, about the wires and metal and anything else. I wanted you because you were good, and kind, and fucking amazing, even if you never see it yourself. I wish just once you could see you like you really are, like I see you.”

 

He tried to shake his head, to deny it, but she wouldn’t release her grip. “I’ve never been good enough for you, never gonna be good enough.”

 

Her eyebrows drew together. “Don’t say that.”

 

“It’s true. I’m just an echo of some man who died a long time ago, Doll. You’re flesh and blood and fire and passion and everything that’s still worth a damned in this world.”

 

#

 

Nora couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t look at Nick. He saw too much, and yet nothing at all. He could read her as well as anyone, but he didn’t see what she’d done. Fuck, if he ever saw that, he’d throw her out. He’d hate her, he’d never talk to her again. So Nora, the coward she was, couldn’t stare into those eyes. She shoved his shoulders and he pulled out, sitting back, confusion on his face.

 

She didn’t want to lose this, either. She should tell him no, because it was fucking unfair for her to let him touch her, to let him slide into her body, when she knew he’d hate her if he knew. But Nora wouldn’t let this go, not after she’d waited so long, no when she knew she’d lose it so soon. So Nora rolled over onto to knees bracing her weight on her hands as well. “Like this,” she said.

 

His hands grasped her hips. “You’re okay?”

 

“Stop asking me already, would you?” She shifted her hips and could almost feel his gaze lock on her.

 

Nick had amazing control, but even he couldn’t resist. His cock pressed against her again before sliding in, like he couldn’t wait another second to be back inside her.

 

Nora shoved everything out of her head as he thrust into her. She didn’t want the shit with the Institute here, in this moment, with them. She’d waited for fucking ever for this, and she hated Shaun and the Institute for poisoning it.

 

Water dropped onto her hand. No, not water. A tear.

 

She squeezed her eyes shut to prevent anymore. Nick was too distracted to notice.  The only good thing.

 

He finished before long, or perhaps it was hours later, Nora didn’t know. He used his grip on her hips to ease to over onto her side, then pull her against him.

 

His arm twisted around her waist, locked her against him. His voice came out a whisper against her ear. “I love you, Doll.”

 

Yeah, he did, until he knew the truth. The words were nothing but water, and she knew she couldn’t hold them. They’d slip through her fingers and get away and there wasn’t a damned thing she could do. Nick would find out, he was too damned smart not to, and even if she could find a way to fix this, he’d never forgive her for what she’d done.

 

“I love you, too,” she whispered into the darkness while she could, and pretended things would be like this forever.


	11. Chapter 11

Nick rubbed his hand across his face, seated beside the bed. He’d known she’d been crying. It would have taken a blind man not to see it. She’d cried silently all night.

 

Was it him?

 

Was it whatever happened with Deacon?

 

Why wouldn’t she just talk to him?

 

Nothing made any sense to him. Nora would throw herself at him, but then push him away.

 

What the hell was going on in that head of hers? How was he supposed to understand if she refused to tell him anything?

 

He left the room, closing the door behind him without a sound. She could use some sleep. Hadn’t seemed like she’d gotten much lately.

 

“Is she in there?”

 

Nick turned to face a Courser who stood outside of Homeplate.

 

“She is sleeping.”

 

The courser lifted a lip in annoyance. “It is late in the morning. She has things to do that do not include sleeping.”

 

Nick brought a cigarette to his lips. “And that’s too bad, they’ll have to wait. She’ll be no good to anyone if she gets herself killed because she isn’t at her best. Even you Institute fools should know that.”

 

“Fools? You know, you should be cautious. You will not always have Nora to protect you.”

 

“I don’t need her protecting me.”

 

The courser tilted his head, examining Nick as if he were a bug that was doing something strange but that interesting. “You do not know, do you?”

 

“Know what?”

 

He laughed and shook his head. “Nora is not the woman you think she is. The things she has done, the things she will do, all for The Institute. It would make a synth like you weep to see the blood she spills for us.”

 

“You’re wrong. She isn’t like that. She’s a good woman.”

 

“If you want to believe that, go ahead. It seems to be what she wants you to believe. Tell her Father expects to see her when she has finished napping.” The courser said nothing else before leaving, as if even a goodbye was too much to offer Nick.

 

The door sat there, begging Nick to open it, to wake Nora and ask her what the courser had been talking about.

 

But he didn’t, because at the end of the day, he was terrified to learn the truth.

 

#

 

 Nora woke, body sore from a night of tossing and turning.

 

“Morning.” Nick’s voice pulled her the rest of the way awake, like some balm that soothed all the parts of her that hurt.

 

“Morning,” Nora offered back, sitting up. She pulled the blanket up to her neck to cover her nakedness, a stupid move considering the night before, but she felt exposed and self-conscious all the sudden.

 

“A courser came by. He said Father needed to see you.”

 

Nora refused to meet Nick’s gaze, studying the floor instead. “Thanks.”

 

“Will you tell me what is going on? Why you need to keep seeing him? What are you doing for them, Doll? What have you gotten yourself into?”

 

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

 

Nick tossed Nora’s clothing to her. “Really? Because the way you’ve been acting, the secrets you’re keeping, they’re telling me I need to worry. They’re telling me whatever it is, I’m not gonna like it.” He turned around, giving her his back while she dressed.

 

“I’m going to handle it, okay?”

 

“Handle what? That’s what I’m asking. Come on, Doll, let me go with you. Let me help you. We’ll figure whatever it is out together.”

 

Nora shook her head. No, Nick could never know. He couldn’t find out.

 

Deacon was working on something for the Institute, something that would let them take out the whole Institute. She just had to keep all the balls going at the same time. Work for the Institute for the Railroad, work for the Institute for Nick, keep Nick from finding out any of it.

 

She wanted to crawl back into the bed.

 

Instead, she pulled her pack onto her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Nick, but I’ve got to do this on my own. I’ll be back soon, I hope.”

 

She leaned in to kiss him, but Nick pulled away instead.

 

Nora couldn’t meet his gaze as she rushed from Homeplate.

 

#

 

Nick cursed at himself. This was wrong. This was Nora, his friend, his. . . whatever they were. The woman he loved, if nothing else.

 

Spying on her was wrong.

 

But what other options were there? She was keeping things from him, and he needed to help her. He needed to understand so he could help her solve whatever was going on, whatever it was she didn’t want to bother him with.

 

So, like any good detective, he’d tailed her. Hadn’t been that hard, since using the Institute as a jumping off point had worked so well before. After her meeting with Father, she’d go to the closest large city or settlement. Nora liked to be prepared, so she’d never run off for a mission without first loading up no necessities. He’d nailed it on his second attempt, locating her buying ammo off K-L-E0.

 

Nick kept back, trailing behind her as she left the city. He lost her a couple times, but the gun she’d gotten of Kellogg’s body packed a punch and the blast from it proved easy to follow.

 

She walked into a building, more shots inside. Nick forced himself to stay back, to trust she could clear the building without him. He followed her inside, back far enough to avoid being spotted. If she spotted him, the game was up. He’d never managed tailing her twice.

 

At the top floor, he heard sobbing. “Please don’t do this.”

 

“I have to, I’m sorry.” Had Nora always sounded so damn tired? Like the woman didn’t have the energy to move let alone fight.

 

“I’ll run. You don’t have to tell them you found me. Please, just let me go.”

 

“I wish I could. I really, really do. Trust me, I don’t want to be here, fucking do this, okay? Just, at least you won’t remember it, okay? You won’t remember any of this.”

 

Nick peered around the corner to see a young girl, on her knees, a wound in her arm. Two other men, traders it looked like, laid dead beside her, and he’d recognize the damage Kellogg’s pistol did anywhere.

 

Nora had killed them both. And now this woman was begging her.

 

“I’ll do anything. I have caps, lots of them, they’re all yours.” The woman scooted forward on her knees, grabbing Nora’s legs, knuckles white from the grip. “I’ll give you anything.”

 

Nora leaned down and kissed the woman’s forehead before she read a recall code. The woman went limp, like a doll, a play thing.

 

Nora lifted her Pipboy and tuned into the courser chip, connecting her to the Institute. Nick touched the back of his neck, wondered if his did that, too. “This is Nora. The synth is here. I’m sending coordinates to pick her up.”

 

#

Nora ran her hands over the woman’s cheek one more time. Fuck, this was almost worse than killing people, the way she watched these synths eyes dim out, the way they drifted away. But if she didn’t do this, they’d do the same thing to Nick.

 

She screamed before she even realized she was going to, the sound bubbling up from inside her, from the part of her that was fucking tired of being used, of being someone elses weapon. She was fucking Nora Jacobs, she was an agent of the Railroad, she was better than this. She kicked a chair across the room in impotent rage.

 

It flew against a wall, right next to where Nick stood and stared at her with a disgust she knew she’d see eventually.

 

Well, it was about fucking time.


	12. Chapter 12

Nick stood across from Nora and for the first time, he had no idea what to say. He didn’t even know who she was. The woman he knew wouldn’t have ever done something like that, couldn’t have. Everything he knew about her seemed to have shifted, like she was a stranger.

 

“Say something,” she whispered.

 

“What am I supposed to say, Nora?”

 

She flinched when he spoke her real name, not some sweet term of endearment. “I don’t know. Something. Anything. Just talk to me.”

 

Nick nodded at the unresponsive synth. “I think that says it all, doesn’t it? You’re not the woman I thought you were, not if you can do that. A courser told me you were different, that you were vicious and I didn’t see it. You know, for a man as smart as I am, you sure fooled me. You switching sides and didn’t want to tell me?”

 

She opened her mouth like she’d respond, but then snapped it closed. Of course she did, she refused to be honest with him. She refused to tell him anything. Guess he shouldn’t be shocked she kept up with that.

 

“Can’t have your cake and eat it, too. I get it, you have your son back. Who cares about the rest of the Commonwealth if you’ve got what you wanted?” Nick shook his head. How could he have been so blind? “All the crying, all the secrets, that’s all been because you wanted to get away with this. You wanted me to keep following you around while you got to act anyway you wanted. This all because you knew how I’d feel about your new allegiances. Can’t believe I didn’t see it before.”

 

Her hands few into fists, light catching on the tears in her eyes that hadn’t fallen. “I love you, Nick.”

 

“I know you do. Never doubted that for a second. Maybe that’s the worst part of this. Problem is, the person you’re wanting to be, well that doesn’t work for me.”

 

“You said you loved me.”

 

“I thought I did. I couldn’t never love the person you’re becoming, though.”

 

She took a step back, like he’d slapped her. “Are you leaving me?”

 

“Yeah, I guess I am. I can’t watch you do this, can’t stand by while you make the Commonwealth a worse place. You ever want to rethink this path, well, you know where I’ll be.” He turned to leave.

 

“Please, don’t do this, Nick.”

 

Her voice broke his heart. Nothing but pain and want, and everything in him wanted to turn back toward her, to gather her in his arms and figure this out. He wanted to believe this was all some nightmare, some confusion they could work through, but then he remembered the way that woman had pleaded, and the mercy Nora didn’t give her.

 

“I have to.” He left her there, closing the door against the sounds of her sobs.

 

#

 

Nora laid on one of the mattresses at the Railroad HQ. She couldn’t stomach returning to Homeplate alone, to the place she’d spent so much time with Nick, especially knowing he was only a few walls away.

 

Hell, Nora could probably catch a whiff of his cigarettes if she could.

 

So here she laid for what had to be the second or third day in a row. Time ran together, since she had another few days before she had to worry about returning to Shaun, and she had nothing else to do in the meantime. She’d never miss that appointment, of course. No matter what happened, she wouldn’t risk Nick. He could hate her, but she’d still keep him safe. If she failed now, all of this would have been in vain. She had a few days to sulk before she had to go back to

 

“Hey there, Charmer.” Deacon sat on the mattress beside her. He reached out and squeezed her arm, the way he did every few hours, as if checking on her. He never stayed long, but she got the feel he never went far, either.

 

“Hey, Deacon.”

 

“You need to get some sleep.”

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“No, you really aren’t. Those circled under your eyes tell me that much. Look, we’re close to being ready, but you’ve got to be on your game. We’re only going to have one chance at this, can’t have you dragging your feet.”

 

“I can’t sleep,” she admitted. “I close my eyes but nothing happens. I just can’t relax.”

 

“Yeah a broken heart does that.”

 

Of course Deacon knew. Deacon knew everything. Though, when she’d shown up without Nick, crawled into a bed, and refused to speak to anyone, she supposed it was obvious.

 

He reached into his pocket and pulled out some med-x. “I don’t usually recommend this, but I’m serious. The Institute is not going to be a walk in the park, more like a stroll through The Commons, and you’re going to need to be rested.” He waited until Nora nodded, then straightened her arm and injected it into the crook. “There ya go, Charmer. Just take it easy.” He scooted back and ran his fingers through her hair until the chems helped her drift into a dreamless sleep.

 

#

 

Nick sat at his desk, having read the same page ten times and yet he still had no idea what it said. When he tried to focus, all he could see was Nora’s face, the way she’d cried when they’d had sex, the way she reacted every time he praised her. Sure, when they’d faced off at the end, that had hurt, but those silent tears? The way she’d hide them from him, like she was broken and couldn’t find a way to fix it, that haunted him.

 

He’d wanted to talk to her as time passed, as his head had cleared. In that room, with that synth, he’d been furious, hurt, sure she’d betrayed him. As time passed, he wondered if he’d been wrong. He knew Nora, he did. There had to be more going on than he’d understood. Why she wouldn’t tell him, he had no idea, but there had to be something else, something he didn’t know.

 

Nora hadn’t returned, though. Her home remained locked up, silent, and the whole damned city felt empty without her.

 

His Nora wouldn’t have done what she did without a damned good reason. Someone else, maybe, but not Nora. He’d seen her move everything for what was right, and she wouldn’t step so far off that line unless she had to.

 

He pushed the paperwork away and stood, tucking his revolver into his coat. There was only one place he was going to find the answers.

 

The Institute.


	13. Chapter 13

The Institute still made Nick twitchy. The white of the walls, the cleanliness of everything, the scurrying of people like ants in a line, it all made him dig his hands for a cigarette. People weren’t supposed to live like this, so disconnected from the world. If he’d learned anything, it was that humans needed sun. They needed sky and they needed earth, not artificial lights and steel. Those things drove people mad, and he could see the madness, sunk so deep into these people they had no idea they’d locked themselves in an asylum of their own.

 

“I have to say, I never expected you to come here.” Shaun set his coffee cup down on the table beside his couch.

 

“Yeah, well, neither did I. Trust me, this isn’t the place I’m wanting to be.” What truth that was. Nick still got flashes, from time to time, of the Institute. He couldn’t remember anything much, just feelings, just white walls and isolation. It wasn’t anything he wanted a repeat, though.

 

But, he had to come here. Sure, he could have tried talking to Deacon, but that man was lies anyway. He couldn’t trust anything Deacon said, especially since the man’s alliance would always be to Nora first. Besides, Nick knew this came back here. He knew whatever was going on from the Institute, and he had a sneaking suspicion he knew exactly what it was.

 

“And yet you’re here. While I didn’t expect it, I can’t say I’m not intrigued. My mother has made some interesting alliances during her time on the surface, but due to safety concerns, you’re the only one I’m able to meet with. I’ve often wondered about them, about the filth she befriends, who follow her around up there. I imagine you all make quite the group.”

 

Nick indicated the courser in the corner of the room with a nod. “I can tell you’re worried about safety.”

 

“X7-34 is here to ensure we have no problems. You’ll have to forgive us, but you’ve spent a long time outside of Institute influence. We have no idea what you might do. I find it a little exciting. Everything here I can control, but you? You don’t even have a proper recall code. You were created before any of those things were thought of, before they were implemented. I could destroy any synth here with a few words, but you? You’re free in a way that they will never understand.”

 

“Always wondered why you boys never picked me up. Wasn’t like I ever hid where I was.”

 

“What for? Despite your arrogance, you were never worth the work to retrieve you. Had we done so, we would have simply scrapped you for parts. You’re worth more now than you ever were as a prototype.”

 

Nick tried to ignore the sting of the words. There were more important things to worry about than his hurt feelings. “Let’s cut to the chase, why don’t we? What’s going on with Nora.”

 

“I figured she wouldn’t have told you. For a woman able to survive on the surface, she has too soft a heart, at least when it comes to you. When I saw what she could do, the massive amounts of damage she was capable of, her relationship with you confused me. She would mow down others, but you? You she never even raised her voice against. It is a perverted relationship, you know that, don’t you? Synths and humans shouldn’t mix, since synths are just machines. It is like trying to develop feelings for a pipboy. Pointless and nothing but deviant behavior. But then, my mother doesn’t make the best choices. I wonder sometimes if the time in cryostatis damaged her brain, similar to radiation. Sometimes I even wonder if she’ll go feral someday. Whatever the reason, she is attached to you, and she wouldn’t have wanted you to know this was all your fault.”

 

“My fault? I haven’t done a damned thing.”

 

“How do you think she paid for that new body you have? We didn’t upgrade you out of the kindness of our hearts; we did it because she agreed to become my new asset on the surface. After she killed Kellogg, he needed to be replaced, and there was no better choice than her.”

 

As soon as Shaun said it, Nick tightened his lips. He’d known it. Deep down, he’d know it. The courser had said as much, and he hadn’t really believed the Institute would do anything for either of them without a price. He should have accepted it sooner, realized it before then. What the hell was wrong with him?

 

He hadn’t wanted to know, that was the truth. He hadn’t wanted to admit this was his fault, that he’d gotten her into it and had no idea how to get her out of it.

 

“Let her out of the deal. Take the body back, I don’t want it. Whatever you have to do, make this go away.”

 

“You don’t get to have that say. Are you forgetting where you are? You have no say here what-so-ever. Out there you may be some joke of a detective, but here, you’re just a tool. My mother made this agreement, between her and I. You were simply the beneficiary of it. In fact, I find your lack of gratitude rather rude.”

 

“You can’t do this. You can’t use me as a bargaining chip against her anymore, I won’t let you.”

 

“I believe you’ll find we can. As long as you’re alive, my mother will do whatever I tell her to in order to keep you safe, because with that courser chip in your neck, we can pull you back here and deactivate you anytime we want. She’s already done so much, things that would give you nightmares.”

 

Nick thought back to Nora waking up, crying. She hadn’t been devastated because she was trying to balance doing what she wanted and keeping him, she’d been traumatized by the things she’d done just to keep him safe.

 

And he’d done nothing but put her down for it, kick her when she was already hurting.

 

Nick grabbed for his revolver. “Well, there’s an easy solution for that, isn’t there?” He lifted the gun, ready to blow his own head off. He couldn’t let Nora destroy herself for him. With him out of the way, she could destroy this place, she could escape their clutches. With him? She was just a slave. He was nothing but a collar for her.

 

He’d never put her in danger if he could help it.

 

The courser knocked him to the ground, the gun flying from his grip and skidding across the floor. He struggled, but he was no match against the trained courser.

 

Nick looked up to where Shaun stood, his foot beside Nick’s head.

 

“Get him a room ready, and make sure there is no way he can harm himself in it. Post a guard as well, we can’t have anything happen to our important guest.”

 

Nick struggled, but he couldn’t even budge beneath the courser’s weight, couldn’t get any leverage. He’d never wanted to feel helpless here again, to be trapped, but here he was, right back where he started.

 

Shaun leaned down so he could see into Nick’s eyes. “Welcome home, Mr. Valentine.”


	14. Chapter 14

 

Nick sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the room he was locked in. It wasn’t a cell, he supposed he should be thankful for that. They’d given him real quarters, beside Nora’s according to the synth who brought him food.

 

It had everything he could want, besides the only thing he craved: freedom.

 

Still, as jails went, this one could be worse.

 

The large window overlooked the Institute, and Nick got his first, real look at it. So far, he’d rushed out so fast he hadn’t really seen the size and scope of it all. Amazing to think of what people could build, at least if they stole everything from those above.

 

He took a cigarette out of the pack in his pocket and pressed his lips around it.

 

“I’m sorry, but you’re not permitted to smoke,” said the courser who sat in the room with him.

 

“Yeah? Well good luck stopping me.” Nick lit the cigarette and sucked the smoke into his lungs, trying to let it settle him, calm him, help him remember the sun and the wind and the open world above, to remember it was all still there, to pretend he’d see it again someday.

 

Nora would come. He knew it, right down to his bones. That woman would tear anything apart for what she wanted, and no matter how he felt about it, she wanted him.

 

The Institute had just made its last mistake.

 

#

 

“Hey, it’ll be okay.” Deacon tossed an arm around Nora’s shoulders.

 

“Right. I mean, it’s Nick. I know Nick. What’s the worst that could happen?” Nora nodded, trying to psyche herself up to walk inside the office that had, at one time, been like a second home for her.

 

Two weeks away. Two weeks without laying eyes on the man she loved. It had been hell, but he’d made his wishes clear, she wanted to respect them. It wasn’t fair to hang around, to force her presence on him when he wanted nothing to do with her.

 

But, she couldn’t go to The Institute without seeing him, without saying goodbye, or saying something. She wasn’t a fool, this whole plan was a long shot. Trusting Tinker Tom and Deacon was the equivalent of handing a toddler a laser pistol and asking them to shoot an apple off your head. If she didn’t come back, well, she had to see him one last time.

 

“Well, he could throw you out without even talking to you, or emotionally cripple you, I bet he’s good at that, or publicly humiliate you by tearing apart every little insecurity you have. Or, hell, he could just shoot you.” Deacon repeated them all with the same cheery voice, like any option seemed fine to him.

 

“Not helping, Deek, not helping.”

 

He laughed then shoved her forward. “Just go in there, huh? I can read people, and let me tell you, that foolish old synth loves you. You guys might fight, but he’ll get over it.”

 

Nora took one deep breath, then opened the door. “Hey Nick? It’s, um, it’s me. Nora. You know, Nora Jacobs.”

 

Deacon groaned behind her. “Right, nice job being casual, because after two weeks he might think you’re some other Nora.”

 

“Still not helping,” Nora snapped over her shoulder.

 

“Nora!” Ellie came running down the stairs and threw herself at Nora, wrapping her arms around her. It caused Nora to fall back, and only them both running into Deacon kept them upright. “He’s gone.”

 

“What? What do you mean he’s gone?”

 

“Nick. He’s gone. I came in and he’s just gone.”

 

Nora extracted herself from Ellie’s grip. She went to Nick’s desk and started to shift through the papers. Damn Nick for never organizing anything. “Okay, did he have any plans to follow any leads? Any idea where he could have gone?”

 

“No. He always tells me when he’s leaving and where he’ll go, especially after the problem with Skinny Malone. Even if it was an emergency, he’d leave me a note so I knew where to send help if something went wrong, if he didn’t come back. He always does it.”

 

Which meant Nick had gone somewhere he hadn’t wanted Ellie to know about, somewhere Ellie couldn’t send help to if he never came back.

 

Nora didn’t move for a minute, hands flat on the desk, eyes pinned to the front door but not seeing, doing nothing but letting the truth sink in. Nick went to the Institute. There was no other answer, nothing that made sense, and Nick always made sense.

 

Nick loved Ellie, he wouldn’t make her worry like this unless he had no choice, and he wouldn’t want to risk getting her involved. He’d gone because he wanted to get to the bottom of things, and Nora hadn’t been honest.

 

Of course Nick knew she was lying, he read everyone. Her fault, again.

 

“Fuck,” Deacon said, gaze meeting Nora’s, clearly having come to the same conclusion. “You can’t go there and cause problems, Nora. You know that. This is bigger than him.”

 

“I’m not leaving him there.” No fucking chance of that. Nick was the person she’d do anything for, and she could only imagine him, locked up, trapped. Her lungs didn’t want to work right.

 

“We’ll spring him when we get in. Just slow down and think this through.”

 

“Fuck that. It’s my fault Nick is in this situation. He never wanted to go back there, he told me he wished I’d let him die rather than end up back there. I’m not going to force him to spend a single minute there longer than I can help it.”

 

“And you’ll, what? Fire some shots and throw a fit and blow our chances of finally ending them? Get both of yourselves killed?”

 

“You asked me once to figure out how far I was willing to go to save him, and do you remember what I said?”

 

“You’d do anything.”

 

“Well, this falls under that.”

 

Deacon grabbed Nora’s arm. “Think about it.”

 

“I am! And if you would stop and think you’d know I had to go anyway. You really think Shaun would accept that everything was normal if he locked Nick up and I didn’t say shit? You think that wouldn’t tip him off?”

 

He groaned and rubbed his eyes behind his sunglasses. “There is a line you have to walk here, Nora. You’ve got to play the game.”

 

Nora pulled her arm away from him and straightened her back. “Fuck that. I’m going to break their game.”


	15. Chapter 15

 

“You make a habit of walking in here like you own the place. I can assure you, Mother, you do not.” Shaun rose from his seat when Nora stormed into his personal quarters.

 

“What have you done with him?”

 

“The synth? He is safe.”

 

“This was not our deal.” Nora jammed a finger toward Shaun before she started to pace. “I’ve done everything you wanted, why is he here?”

 

“He came on his own accord, looking for answers. When he was given those answers, he threatened his own life.”

 

“I doubt you care about the life of one synth.”

 

“True, I don’t. However, the wellbeing of my leverage is of great importance. If he is released, he may take his own life. If he does that, I have no way to enforce our contract. I am simply protecting my assets.” Shaun crossed his arms over his chest. “This place is not so terrible. I had hoped, originally, that you might be happy here. I hadn’t wanted to have to force you into helping us, I’d wanted this to become your home. He isn’t trapped in some tiny lab, he has quarters next to yours. Yes, there is a guard, and we’ve had to remove some of the things in his room to keep him safe, but few on the surface have as good a life as he is being given.”

 

“Is he free to go?”

 

“I’m afraid not.”

 

Nora stopped pacing, right in front of Shaun. Her voice dropped low. “You should think about this carefully. I was told once that there are some choices you can’t take back, that some lines, when you cross them, you can’t fix it. This is one of those lines, Shaun.”

 

Shaun smiled, a cold grin that showed no fear, no understanding of what Nora could, and would, do to protect those she loved. “I wondered as a child about my parents. Every kid does, I suppose, but I had nothing to go on. I knew a few details from the vault intake paperwork, but nothing beyond age and occupation. As I grew up, I imagined how you and father would have fit into life here. Would you have been directors? Would you have been strong enough to keep the place running, to make the choices that needed to be made? I wondered what sort of leaders you would be.”

 

“And?”

 

“And I find myself intrigued. While I can say nothing about my father, you surprise me at every turn. Both more vicious than I could have hoped for, yet unwilling to sacrifice the obvious for the right move. Strong enough to take out super mutants, yet weak enough to let you be controlled by the wellbeing of a machine. You are both so much more and so much less than I had expected. I suppose time will tell which side of that line you walk you’ll fall off.”

 

Nora accepted the words, even the ones that hurt. She reminded herself that this wasn’t the baby she’d held. This was a man, a twisted man who made choices like anyone else. “I remember holding you as an infant, and your father looking over my shoulder at you, proud as could be.”

 

“A happy family, then?”

 

She nodded. “Yes, we were. But then I remember he’s dead, and I thank whatever God is still watching over us for that, because it would kill him to see the monster you turned into.”

 

Pain crossed Shaun’s face, and as petty as it was, Nora took that and clung to it. She could still hurt him., good. She turned and walked out.

 

#

 

The door slid open, but Nick refused to look up, wouldn’t give ‘em the pleasure of fully acknowledging them. “Not hungry. Hell, you can barely consider that food.”

 

“No offense, but it isn’t like you’ve had enough experience for me to trust your opinion.” Nora’s voice had him jerking his gaze up.

 

Damn, he’d missed her. She stood in the door, a tense smile across her face, dressed in her vault suit. She moved in far enough for the door to close.

 

He was on his feet before he’d realized it, but she didn’t come forward.

 

No, she looked like she didn’t know if she was welcome. Then again, why would she think she might be? He’d tossed her away instead of using his head and thinking things through.

 

“Doll. . .” the name slid off his lips, sweet, coaxing.

 

She wrapped her arms around herself. “I’m sorry.” Her voice was so quiet it almost couldn’t cross the distance of the room. “I’m sorry for this all. You shouldn’t be here, you shouldn’t have to go through this. It’s all my fault. . .” She cracked open beneath the strain of everything she’d shouldered, all the pain she’d held so he wouldn’t have to.

 

“Come ‘ere.”

 

She shook her head, pressing her back against the wall and sliding down, knees coming up to her chest. “Fuck, Nick, I’m so sorry. I’m gonna fix this. I don’t care if I have to tear down this whole fucking place.” Her voice broke to screams. “You hear that, you fucking assholes! I’ll take this place apart, brick by fucking brick if I have to!”

 

Nick knelt in front of her, setting his hands on her cheeks. “Breathe for me, okay? Screaming the walls down probably won’t help much.”

 

“So you know?”

 

He nodded. “Yeah, darling, I know. You agreed to work for Shaun in exchange for him saving me, and you didn’t want to tell me because then I’d blame myself. How’s that?”

 

Nora tore her gaze away from his, even as he held her face still. “Leave it to you to figure it out. Shouldn’t have tried to fool a detective.”

 

“No, I was an idiot. I should have seen it from the start, should have never treated you the way I did. I know you, I knew you wouldn’t have done any of that if there’d have been another way. Took me too damned long to figure this out, and I’m sorry for that.” His thumb cleared a tear from her cheek. “Now don’t you go crying, Doll.” He pressed a hand to the wall beside her head and leaned into her space. He kissed her cheek, capturing another tear, then moving to her ear. “I’m going to guess there’s a plan in the works, right?”

 

She nodded, releasing a soft moan when he pressed his lips to her ear. Probably just part of the plot, who knew how close the Institute was listening in.

 

“This doesn’t change that plan. You hear me? This can’t change it.”

 

“I’m not going to leave you in here.”

 

His nipped her earlobe. “Yeah, you are, darling. I’m not in danger; I can sit here as long as I need to. There are bigger things in the works than me, more important things.”

 

Nora turned, capturing his lips with hers, pulling him into a kiss. “There’s nothing more important to me than you.”

 

Nick sighed against her lips, unable to help the way he smiled. She was stubborn, willing to anything to keep what was hers, and for whatever reason, she’d claimed him.

 

If anyone else said they’d tear down the Institute, he’d have dismissed it? With her, he expected her to stand in the rubble soon.

 

“Promise me. Promise me that you’ll make this right. I’m not the only person the Institute is hurting, doll, and I couldn’t live knowing you sacrificed all the others for me.”

 

She pressed her forehead against his, her words full of every spark of anger he’d come to expect from her. “I promise that I’ll make ‘em pay.”

 

Nick laughed. Yeah, she would.


	16. Chapter 16

 

Leaving Nick had been the hardest thing she’d ever done. She’d lost people, sure, but she’d never left them. He’d tried to make it as easy as possible, smiling and promising to eat and behave himself.

 

She knew he was safe. Hell, he was safer there than he’d be in Diamond City, but it still grated against her.

 

Nick was locked up.

 

Someone was holding Nick against his will. Her powerlessness infuriated her. She couldn’t fix it, not right then.

 

She could get him out, that wasn’t a problem. That was the easy party. The problem was that, at long as he had that courser chip in his neck, she couldn’t keep him safe.

 

Shaun had been stolen away from her, and he’d turned into a monster. Nora hadn’t kept him safe, hadn’t protected him, and now it was all happening again. She was losing someone else to the Institute now, to their game, to their plans.

 

She was so fucking sick of people and their plans.

 

Nora stood and kicked over the table. It crashed against the ground, but that tiny bit of destruction didn’t solve her anger. It didn’t ease the fury inside her, the fire that wanted to burn down everything around her. The agents in the HQ stood back as she shoved over a shelving unit of Carrington’s things.

 

“You’re scaring the recruits, Charmer,” Deacon said, hand up to wave off the other agents who seemed ready to pounce. “Why don’t you settle down and we’ll talk it out, huh?”

 

“I’m supposed to be someone you don’t fuck with, and the one fucking person I care about is trapped! I’m supposed to be this unstoppable force and I can’t even protect him.” Nora went to overturn the bed Carrington used to treat patients, wanting to see everything in pieces.

 

Deacon tackled her that time, taking her to the ground beneath him, her shoulder hitting the concrete floor. “And how is tearing apart your own headquarters going to help? It’s like being pissed and shooting your own foot. Not only will it not help, but now your foot hurts, too. Use that head  of yoursand think.”

 

“What am I supposed to do? I can’t think straight, can’t breathe. All I want is to go back and stop this from happening. It’s all my fault and if I’d only seen that trap, we wouldn’t be here.”

 

Deacon got off her, then stuck his hand out to help her up. “Why don’t we go back to where it started? Nick got zapped, right? Let’s go there. Maybe you’ll get some closure or something, get your head on straight? Because we’re taking on the Institute tomorrow, and you need to pay attention when it happens. Go off the handle like this, and you’re going to get yourself killed, and if you’re dead? He’s dead, too.”

 

#

 

Walking down that hallway was a nightmare. Part of Nora wondered if she could change it, if she could somehow alter what happened here. She wanted to go back and see the trap, to disarm it before it put them on this course. Still, her feet moved, one step after another, toward the trap that had changed everything. “We came around that corner, Nick in front. Raiders were a floor up, so we were moving fast, trying to take them by surprise.”

 

Deacon walked beside her. “Trap was up there? Around the blind corner?”

 

Nora nodded as they approached. “Never saw it coming. Never saw anything like it. This bright white light shot out and hit him and he went down. I couldn’t wake up him up, couldn’t do anything.”

 

Debris crunched beneath Deacon’s feet as he passed Nora, moving to inspect the trap. Nora knew what he was doing, because despite all his lies, Deacon wasn’t that hard to figure out. He wanted to find something that proved none of this was Nora’s fault. He wanted to show that it was just shitty luck so she could get her fucking focus back.

 

Going to the Institute like she was wouldn’t work. Anger drove her so often, but not the guilt. The guilt would get her killed.

 

He said nothing, however. Just held the pieces of the trap up, eyebrows pulled together behind the sunglasses. “You say there were no raiders here?”

 

“One floor up there were, but we never got that far. They never even came down.”

 

“Who asked you to clear this place?”

 

“It was a job in Diamond City, on the board. Never finished it so I never collected any cap; don’t know who placed it. I had other pressing issues to deal with.” Nora stilled at the tension in Deacon’s shoulders. “What is it, D?”

 

Deacon tossed a fragment to Nora, which she caught. “What do you see?”

 

“Science? You know I can’t build shit. I have no idea what I’m looking at.”

 

Deacon stood up and took the piece back, pointing to the chips inside. “Well, let me explain what you’re looking at, then. This is Institute tech.”

 

“How do you know that?”

 

“Because I’ve torn apart enough gen 1s and traps to spot their work anywhere. Also? This is clean inside. Way too clean to have been built anywhere on the surface. The parts are brand new and you don’t find that up here. We reuse everything. Hell, there’s duct tape on my sniper rifle and my armor is held together with wonderglue. So, this? This was made in the Institute.”

 

“You’re telling me Shaun did this?” Nora took the trap from Deacon. “That he set me up?”

 

“He got your help out of it, didn’t he? They built Nick, which means he’d know exactly what it would take to deactivate Nick and force you to seek him out, to get you under his thumb. Never gave the Institute enough credit for planning it seems, because that’s pretty damned brilliant.”

 

“After everything else Shaun has done, he did this? He’s been playing me from the start. He released me from the vault so I could take out Kellogg for him, then manipulated me into helping him. He’s been a step ahead of me from fucking day one!” Nora threw the trap against the wall.

 

“To be fair, he’s got a few years on you, Charmer. Wait a minute, I know that face. Relax. We’ve got a plan here already. Why am I always telling you not to fly off the handle? You have a temper problem.”

 

“I don’t like being played, D.”

 

“And you know what would be an amazing revenge? Not flipping out and just sticking to our plan so we can blow them to hell. That would work out well. You’d really show him then.”

 

“I’m just going to go visit Nick.”

 

“Nope. I know that face. That isn’t my ‘I’m going for a quickie with a detective face.’ That’s your ‘I’m going to fuck shit up’ face.”

 

“I don’t have a face like that.”

 

“You just don’t notice because your face is like that a lot. Come on, Charmer, I can’t let you do this. You go there now, you’re going to ruin everything and probably get yourself killed.”

 

“You can’t stop me. I’m sick of everyone pushing me around, of everyone trying to get what they want from me. You’re as bad as Shaun! Just trying to use me to get what you want. You followed me for weeks before I found you, spied on me, just wanted what you thought I could give you. How exactly is it you think you’re any better?” Nora turned her back on Deacon.

 

She was so fucking tired of this. There’d been one person who hadn’t used her and only one: Nick. He’d never asked her for a fucking thing. He didn’t want her to sacrifice for him, to give him something. He only wanted her, and she was tired of playing everyone else’s game.

 

“I’m done with this bullshit.”

 

Something sharp stuck her in the back, and Nora gasped, turning. The damage was done as the med-x soaked into her system, her balance already off.  

 

“I can’t let you ruin this all, Charmer. We’ve been planning this too long and have too much at stake. If you have to lose Nick, I’m sorry, but you have to lose Nick, because this is bigger than either of you. We’re all expendable. You. Nick. Me. Everyone.”

 

“I’ll kill you for this.” She stumbled, her legs refusing to hold her up anymore. The ground slammed into her as she fell.

 

Deacon leaned down, pulling her pipboy off her wrist. “Possibly, but like I said, I’m expendable, too, so if that happens, it happens. I’ve lived a long time, survived a lot already, so I’m ready to go. I’m ready to die for an idea, for something bigger than myself. Go to sleep, Charmer. It’ll be over before you know it.”

 

Nora reached for her weapon, but her hands wouldn’t work. She stared at Deacon until her vision went black, until the Med-x he’d drugged her with pulled her under.

 


	17. Chapter 17

Nora groaned as she woke, the only thing she could think about playing through her head.

 

Nick. She needed to get to Nick.

 

“Easy, Ma’am.” That was a voice she wouldn’t forget.

 

“X6?”

 

“Yes. I’ve given you addictol to counter the med-x, but it will take a few minutes to work.”

 

She rose to her feet, but her shoulder slammed into the wall when she couldn’t get her balance. “Fuck. That hurt.”

 

“Walls hurt, in case you failed to realize that before.”

 

“Thanks. Awesome advice. What are you doing here?”

 

X6 pointed at her bare wrist. “Dr. Li placed a tracker in your pipboy when she placed the courser chip. It was set to send a signal when it was removed, in case someone stole it. We needed to ensure it did not fall into the wrong hands.”

 

“So why are you here and not tracking it?”

 

“Because someone realized what we’d done and removed the tracker. This was the location at which it was removed, so I expected to find you here.” He held up a leather cuff. “And I brought this, a temporary transport chip, so you can relay in.”

 

“Why are you helping me?”

 

He tilted his head. “I’m not. I’m helping the Institute. Whoever did this to you is an enemy of yours, and given they understand how to deal with the pipboy and the tracking chip, they are likely an enemy of ours. It was the Railroad, wasn’t it?”

 

Nora gripped the wall to stand straight, then fastened the cuff on. “Yes, it was.”

 

“And what are you going to do about that?”

 

Nora pulled in a deep breath before reaching to check her weapons. “I’m going to make the people who have used me regret it. Let’s go.”

 

Three hours later, Nora stood in front of the reactor Shaun had set up, the one that powered the entire Institute. She’d ditched X6 as soon as she’d gotten back, because she doubted planting explosives would be something the courser would approve of.

 

The alarms started to ring as she rigged the explosives in. Right on time. Deacon must have started his attack. She hadn’t been kidding, science wasn’t her thing. Explosives though? Those she could do. Besides, this one wasn’t that complicated, and it wasn’t the only one she’d set.

 

X6 waking her up early gave her time to get there before Deacon, before the Railroad. None of them had any idea what they were walking into.

 

Nora pulled the switch to deactivate the generator, darkness filling the space before red emergency lights took over.

 

Here we go.

 

#

 

Nick stood at the window, overlooking everything in chaos. The alarms had started to ring, the lights going out, and he’d know Deacon anywhere, in any stupid costume.

 

Where was Nora, though?

 

The pipboy on Deacon’s arm had Nick drawing his hands into fists. If the spy had hurt Nora. . .

 

The door opened and broke into Nick’s train of thought.

 

A courser walked in. “This way, please.”

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“The Director wants to see you.”

 

Nick shifted his gaze out the window again, where synths and coursers fought the railroad forces. “Yeah, I bet he does.”

 

Inside Shaun’s room, Nick laughed at the man’s face. “That’s the face only Nora could put on someone. No one can ruin someone’s day like my doll can.”

 

“And yet, I haven’t seen her. I had word her pipboy was removed, and since I do not see her here, I have to assume she was killed for her access here.”

 

Nick swallowed down his anxiety at that thought. Nora killed? That was like saying you thought cigarettes smelled bad or that fedoras had gone out of style. It just wouldn’t ever be true. He couldn’t believe it, refused to think it even possible. “That’s a nice theory, but I doubt some railroad agents could take her out.”

 

The door slid open again, and Deacon entered, rifle pointed at Shaun. The courser who had lead Nick in was on the ground outside, blood leaking from a chest wound. Deacon stepped over the body like it meant nothing.

 

“Agent Deacon, I take it?” Shaun folded his hands behind him, chest puffed out. Why did all the fools stand like that? As if they could make themselves more important by that?

 

Deacon nodded, closing the door and moving in further. “You’re in charge here? Nice place you have.”

 

“It was, and it will be again.”

 

Deacon nodded at Nick. “Hey there, Valentine. Nice to see you still breathing.”

 

“You want to tell me where Nora is? Because don’t think I missed that you’re wearing her pipboy.”

 

“Always quick, aren’t you? Not a clue can slip past you.” Deacon pushed his glasses higher up his nose, though with the scratches on the lenses it seemed impossible he could see through them. “I didn’t kill her. She’s fine, safe. She wanted to rush in, to mess this all up for you, and I couldn’t let her do that. We’ve planned too long, risked too much. This was our chance and I couldn’t let her ruin it. And she was going to throe it all away, just for you, just because she was angry and couldn’t see anything but you.”

 

The conversation halted when the door slid open. A grenade rolled in, and all three took cover behind a desk, too busy trying not to be blown to pieces to worry about their own bickering.

 

Except no explosion happened.

 

A slow clapping from behind the desk had Nick smiling.

 

He’d know that snark anywhere. “Miss you, doll,” he called over and stood.

 

#

 

Nora could breathe again. Seeing Nick, unharmed, made the rest of this petty bullshit seem exactly like that. Bullshit.

 

Deacon stood, gaze landing on the deactivated grenade, but didn’t lift his rifle. “So, you can bluff.”

 

“You taught me a few things. Funny things, really. See, remember what you told me when you were warning me? Come on, D, I’m sure you remember. You told me to be very careful, that there were some lines you couldn’t cross. Remember that?”

 

“Yeah, Charmer, I do.”

 

Nora nailed him with a hard glare. “Don’t call me that. Trust me, I’m not charming right now. Well, you should have taken your own advice, because you were right. We have to make choices, and we have to pay the price for those choices. You, both of you,” Nora pointed between Deacon and Shaun, “you thought you could use me. You thought you could manipulate me and get what you wanted.”

 

Nick moved away from the desk to stand beside her. He took the revolver she held out to him. “Thanks, doll.”

 

Nora wrapped her hand in the front of his shirt and yanked him down into a kiss.

 

Deacon shifted, hand moving toward his rifle.

 

Nora pulled away from the kiss to lift a detonator. “I’d suggest you stay still.”

 

“You plan to blow this place up? That’s it?” Shaun’s voice held disbelief, like he couldn’t believe it. “I brought you into this world, Mother. Woke you up when I could have left you. I helped protect you, gave you a chance for a better life.”

 

“Bullshit, Shaun. You used me. You saw me as the means to an end, that’s it. And Deacon, you’re no better. You two are so damned similar, you know that? You really deserve each other. Both willing to sacrifice anything to get what you want.”

 

Deacon laughed, crossing his arms. “So you’ll blow it all up? Sounds good to me.”

 

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. I’m not blowing the whole place up. I’m blowing the generator, which, if you haven’t noticed, I’ve turned off. It’ll take that wing, but not the entire Institute.”

 

“We won’t be able to live down here without the generator. We won’t be able to grow food, to research.” Shaun’s eyes had gone wide, like he’d just realized exactly how fucked he was.

 

“That’s right. You’ll have to abandon this place and head up to the good old commonwealth. But, in case you’re thinking that’s it, it gets worse!” Nora wrapped an arm around Nick’s waist. “See, you both fucked up by screwed with my life and the man I love. That’s where you really messed things up. So, the other charge? It’s wired into the relay. After I blow that, well, no one will be yanking Nick back anywhere.”

 

“We’ll be trapped down here,” Deacon pointed out.

 

“Yeah, you will. Until you haul your worthless asses through the old sections of the Institute. I have it on good authority from a smart friend of mine that it does lead up to the surface. Better yet? You all are going to probably want to work together or you’re going to get mighty hungry before you escape.”

 

Deacon and Shaun both began to yell over each other.

 

Nora shrugged. “Or tear each other apart. I don’t think I care anymore. Come on, Nick. Let’s go home.”

 

#

 

Nick reappeared in time to see Nora lift the detonator and press the button. Being in Sanctuary Hills, nothing happened. No shaking, no explosion, but they were far away. He touched the back of his neck where he knew the courser chip was, as if he could feel it.

 

“It’s over, Nick. Without power, there is no way they can get that relay working. Between the generator and the relay? They’re out of luck. Oh, I am almost sad I can’t watch Shaun and Deacon have to work together. I wonder if they’ll make it out.”

 

“You know, doll, you can’t leave them to starve.”

 

Nora groaned, letting her head drop back as if he were asking something terribly inconvenient. “You’re lucky I love you. Fine, I’ll have Preston take some Minutemen and go the way Sturgis told me about. They should meet somewhere in the middle. They won’t starve in the week or so it’ll take. The things I do for you. Happy?”

 

Nick wrapped an arm behind her and pulled her against him. “Very. Thank you.” He leaned down and captured her lips in a kiss.

 

But, Nora, his Nora, was never one to accept anything passively. She laced her fingers behind his neck, then hopped her legs around his waist. “Are we going to take the goods for another test drive? We should probably be very thorough, you know. Hate to find a defect down the road.”

 

Nick pressed his forehead against hers and chuckled. “So, you’re saying we have a down the road?”

 

Nora smiled back. “Oh yeah. We both have paid some high prices. I think we’ve finally earned our reward.”

 

Nick moved her toward the bedroom after offering her another kiss. “Couldn't ask for a better reward than you, Doll.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End! Thank you for hanging in there and I'm sorry for the long time it took me to finish!!


End file.
